After re-reading my last post from August 1st, I would've thought I'd be doing all sorts of normal stuff by now. Not the case. This past week was especially difficult, as it felt like I regressed by about 2 weeks, as far as balance and dizziness goes. I started feeling back to 'normal' or so two days ago, and today it feels like I'm back making small progress again. I asked my OT about the regression, and she didn't have any ideas other than it just happens. Some days you feel good, some days you don't feel good. She reminded me that compared to 3 weeks ago, even with not feeling good, I am still overall doing better. After a few days of being more unbalanced, and dizzy, it becomes a mental challenge to stay positive.
I just want to be 'normal' again, and jump and run and play with the other kids. I'm sick of getting 'wobbly' every time I turn my head. I'm sick of my eye getting dry and hurting every time it's a little breezy. I'm tired of biting my lip every time I try to eat a sandwich or pizza. I'm sick of trying to make stupid 'I'm a pirate' jokes because of my eye patch. I'm tired having the room spin every time I climb into bed. I'm really sick of this gross sour taste that won't go away. I'm tired of having dried blood in my right nostril. I'm sick of saying 'pretty good' when people I don't know very well ask me, "how are you?"
I am glad I am using less eye drops than I was at first. I am happy I can walk 2 miles unassisted. I'm glad when I wake up, my bedroom does not spin. I'm glad that my left nostril is blood-free. I'm happy that my face is continuing to get it's movement back. I'm happy that I only have 'pressure' but never a headache. I am glad I am able to drive again. I'm glad my arm hair is growing back in. I'm glad I have family and friends that have helped me so much. I am glad God has provided health insurance for me. I'm happy that I have a job to go back to. I'm glad I'm able to use my bike trainer. I'm glad I had great doctors, nurses, and hospital staff. I'm happy I like food other than sandwiches and pizza. I'm glad Hagen-Daaz tastes so good. I'm glad I could turn this post into a positive one, so people don't call me 'Debbie Downer' from now on ; - )
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Thanks for keeping up the blog, even when it is tough to do so. It does help to know how to pray--I love you, MOM
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ReplyDeleteEven though I'm sure you're discouraged alot of times you really have been showing such a positive attitude about this. Your determination and perseverence really has been cool to see. God allowed this to happen in your life and that means that He is with you and will get you through this time. He is orchestrating all the events in your life to work out for good. Romans 8:26-39.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you!
Robyn
p.s. Word, to eating pints of Hagen-Daaz ice cream in times of distress:)
oops... I thought I could just edit my typo (I really need to learn to proof read) but instead I deleted the whole thing - duh! I think I said something like this...
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how sick & tired you are of being sick & tired. Your determination & attitude is amazing to see.
I wished I knew the "right" words to say to make you feel better. I often wonder why God allows certain things to happen to such good people. I suppose I might never have that one figured out. What I do know is that God gives the power to get through even the most challenging times, and in these times, we can be brought closer to God. I pray that God will become clearly visible to you and that he will do amazing things with your life.
Thinking about and praying for you daily!
Sarah
p.s. Keep eating that Hagen-Daaz.... Ice cream always makes me feel better!