I can run!

I ran 1.17 miles tonight, in 10:43 minutes, for a 9:09 minute per mile pace. I finished in front of my house, bent over, breathing hard, and pretty dizzy. It was AWESOME. I was running 8:25-ish miles pre-surgery for 4 or 5 mile runs. I am so happy that I am able to do my favorite hobby again. It'll be interesting to see how long it takes before I'm at 'pre-surgery' fitness. There were times when I was 'wobbly' and went from edge-of-sidewalk to the other edge-of-sidewalk, and it takes extra focus to step up curbs and uneven blocks of sidewalk. Hopefully I won't regret not wearing a helmet and kneepads. (Double negative, I know! That is terrible...)

6 Week Post-op Dr. Daniels Apt.

I was T H I S close to punching the audiologist today, my patience was very thin for some reason. She asked me on the way to the test room if there have been any changes in my hearing. (She works exclusively with Dr. Daniels and 2 other doctors, so it's not like she sees random people off the street) I told her I had retrosiggmoid surgery for my AN with Dr. Daniels, and that I can't hear out of my right ear. She then asked, "So has it gotten better or worse?" I was like "HUH?" I'm deaf in my right ear! How could it get better? Worse would be, what, my ear fell off? I explained that since surgery, I'm deaf in my right ear, and can hear fine in my left ear. I really wanted to say, "Do you carry my chart in your hand to give the illusion that you're actually working, or do you sometimes read charts when you feel like it?" I understand that she probably knew she should've worded her questions better, but I still think she got off easy by me letting her ridiculousness slide....anyways...
...so I told Dr. Daniels about my week-long slide into worse balance etc., and he said it's pretty typical when you start trying to do more things that you feel worse. He said that there is no danger in the pain I feel when I try to run. He said push yourself (me) a little, but don't go crazy all out madness-style. Dr. Daniels said almost everybody gets upper facial movement back first, and then it goes down the face with movement capability. Not I, my forehead, and eyebrow are pretty stationary, but my cheek, lip and mouth are moving more and more. He mentioned that if my eye doesn't improve where I can close it better within 6 weeks (my next appt. is Oct 1), he will get me on an electric facial stimulator therapy. And if that doesn't work, they can put a gold weight into my eyelid to help it close. He said that he doesn't think either will be necessary, but it's a possibility he wanted me to know about if things don't improve.
Dr. Daniels said that the nerves are 'waking up' on my right side, and that is why I am more sensitive to the touch on my right side of my head. I was worried that something wasn't healing correctly, so that was reassuring to hear him say it's normal.
Also, they let me wear a headband type device that has a microphone on the right side that changes sound waves to sound vibrations. It then vibrates the bones in my head, and sends it to my good ear mechanisms. It emulates the Bone Anchored Hearing Aid (BAHA) contraption. It was pretty cool, the audiologist walked around the room, and I could hear her much easier when she was on the right side. The volume level was constant, instead of increasing volume when she walked toward my good side. Really cool. I told the doctor that I am not too eager to get back under the knife any time soon, but it's a possibility for the future. The surgery is about an hour and a half, and you can be awake if you want! They drill a tiny hole in your skull, and actually screw a titanium post in! Yeah right! I wouldn't stay awake for that for a bazillion dollars. No way. The post is maybe a little smaller than the roundness of a Q-tip (the shaft, not the cotton part). It takes about 3 months to heal around the post, and then you get a little microprocessor, maybe the size of Tic-Tac box of candy but a little shorter, that snaps onto the abutment. You take it off at night, or during a shower, swimming and UFC fighting etc. And the added bonus is I would respond to people only when they called me 'Robo-Darin'.

s t a g n a t i o n

After re-reading my last post from August 1st, I would've thought I'd be doing all sorts of normal stuff by now. Not the case. This past week was especially difficult, as it felt like I regressed by about 2 weeks, as far as balance and dizziness goes. I started feeling back to 'normal' or so two days ago, and today it feels like I'm back making small progress again. I asked my OT about the regression, and she didn't have any ideas other than it just happens. Some days you feel good, some days you don't feel good. She reminded me that compared to 3 weeks ago, even with not feeling good, I am still overall doing better. After a few days of being more unbalanced, and dizzy, it becomes a mental challenge to stay positive.
I just want to be 'normal' again, and jump and run and play with the other kids. I'm sick of getting 'wobbly' every time I turn my head. I'm sick of my eye getting dry and hurting every time it's a little breezy. I'm tired of biting my lip every time I try to eat a sandwich or pizza. I'm sick of trying to make stupid 'I'm a pirate' jokes because of my eye patch. I'm tired having the room spin every time I climb into bed. I'm really sick of this gross sour taste that won't go away. I'm tired of having dried blood in my right nostril. I'm sick of saying 'pretty good' when people I don't know very well ask me, "how are you?"
I am glad I am using less eye drops than I was at first. I am happy I can walk 2 miles unassisted. I'm glad when I wake up, my bedroom does not spin. I'm glad that my left nostril is blood-free. I'm happy that my face is continuing to get it's movement back. I'm happy that I only have 'pressure' but never a headache. I am glad I am able to drive again. I'm glad my arm hair is growing back in. I'm glad I have family and friends that have helped me so much. I am glad God has provided health insurance for me. I'm happy that I have a job to go back to. I'm glad I'm able to use my bike trainer. I'm glad I had great doctors, nurses, and hospital staff. I'm happy I like food other than sandwiches and pizza. I'm glad Hagen-Daaz tastes so good. I'm glad I could turn this post into a positive one, so people don't call me 'Debbie Downer' from now on ; - )

One Month, Post-Op

It's amazing where I was one month ago, and where I'm at now. I drove for the first time today! It's not something that I want to do a lot of yet, but I definitely feel like I drive more competent than at least half the crazies on the road. I also ran for the first time! I ran a hundred, maybe two hundred feet at a local high school track. It felt awesome! Ok, so it was a slow jog, but I'm calling it a run. My legs are actually a little sore from yesterday, with two over-one-mile walks, and some time on my bike trainer, so I just wanted to see if I could run and not fall over. There was some 'wobbly-ness', but nothing close to falling over. (Funny thing about the word 'wobbly-ness'. People who have had this surgery also describe this feeling as being 'wobbly'. Dizzy isn't quite accurate, cuz it's not like the room is spinning. I'm not sure exactly what 'vertigo' means, so I can't call it that either. It feels like you might fall over when this feeling is more severe, but I haven't yet fallen over. 'Wobbly' is the word of choice.)
Anyways...here is a rundown of all my physical maladies. I am writing this not to complain, or anything like that. I am so happy with my progress, and want to record how I'm progressing for informational purposes only.
Incision = It's looking great! I have a tightness and tingling sensation from my incision to above my ear, which I didn't notice until this week. I still put Aloe Vera on the incision sometimes, but not as much as I should. You know what they say, 'out of sight, out of mind'. Also, chicks dig scars. Or maybe thats just something Luke told me...
Eye = I still use the gel, even though the nights I don't put any in, I can't tell a difference in the morning. I think this means the eye is closing tighter at night, giving it the proper moisture it needs. The eye patch still gets alot of use, it really helps when I'm outside to block the wind. And my nephews think it's cool to have a pirate for an uncle. Eyedrops are still used a few times a day, but it seems like I need them less than in the past.
Facial Paralysis = A true test of patience. I can see a tiny bit of movement at the corner of my eye, and cheek. It was at zero percent movement, so a 'tiny bit' of anything is huge. It means some signal is getting through to my face from my brain, meaning the prognosis of more signal getting through is very, very high. My eye seems to shut a little tighter as well, which is awesome.
Voice = This is by far the biggest improvement in the past few days. I would say it went from 60% to 95% recovered in the past 4 days. This was an really unexpected issue post-op, with even swallowing being very difficult. Now, I am able to take huge gulps of beverage and not cough for hours. I am so glad to have my voice back.
Mouth = My mouth is still extra dry on the right side, and due to some facial paralysis, food still gets 'left behind' around my gum line. I bite my lip occasionally as well, and I noticed it's always while I eat a sandwich or pizza, so I shy away from those foods. I have gotten a little bit more of my taste back, but still have a lingering metal flavor that I haven't shaken yet. I swear they left a scalpel in there somewhere...
Balance = I've moved from standing and doing things, to walking and doing things for my Occupational Therapy. It is really cool to stop doing different exercises because they are no longer challenging, and trying harder things. Try closing your eyes and standing on one foot. Ok. I only found 2 people who can do it so far. My Occupational Therapist said I may never be able to do that. I told her when I do, I will stop by to show her.
Hair = Looking in the mirror this week, I noticed that the hair on my left side is longer than my right side! How crazy is that!??! I know my right side IS growing, because where they shaved for the incision is definitely growing in. But it is a step slow compared to the left side. I'm hoping this is a bizarre temporary thing. What a weird side effect.
SSD = Which stands for 'Single Sided Deafness'. Apparently it's so common, there is even an acronym for it! It's true, I didn't just make SSD up. So far it's been pretty easy to adjust to it. I mainly exist in a nice, private bubble right now, so it'll be interesting to see what it's like when I start doing more things, e.g. working. I can easily hear a conversation, but if there is background noise, I have to strain a little bit. My tinnitus and 'full-ness' feeling have definitely subsided, tinnitus is still there, but it has gone down to pre-surgery level and maybe even lower than that. It is still odd to me that when I itch my ear, I hear nothing. Or when I'm in the shower and water shoots right in, I hear nothing. It really is strange.
If someone would have told me three weeks ago that I would feel like this on August 1st, I would have said, "you mean 2010, right?" I was using a cane to get around three weeks ago, and today I drove, walked about 2 miles, and ran a little bit. It is amazing.